Came across this video trailer of Ann Voscamp's book "One Thousand Gifts"

It touched my heart so deeply as it expressed parenting and the grace we are given in the moments of each day.

Being a working mom I've missed a lot of these moments with my daughter. But this short video inspires me to do a better job.

Wishing you experience God's grace in parenting today.

Future Son-in-Laws

I came across this article this morning and since I just wrote about daughters-in-laws I only though it fair to share this one from the other perspective. I really couldn't have written it any better and didn't want to add or take away anything from this. It was amazing! 

So here's the Link to Five Question's to Ask you Future Son-in-Law

My DD is only 8 soon to be 9. I am praying now for her future husband. Praying he has godly parents who are teaching him to be a man of God. Courageous and able to lead his family. What a precious thought. 

Makes me wish I had done an even better job raising my sons. None the less I will pray for them to adhere to most of what they were taught and the relationship that my husband and I have with each other. 

Growing more graceful in my journey of parenting and the things I just never even considered before having them. 

Are You the Kind of Woman You Hope Your Son Marries?

Are YOU a wife like the one you hope your son marries?
Do you replicate those attributes you deem necessary to be good enough for your son?
I didn't actually think about this until my boys started dating. I began to notice possible future daughter- in- laws and it made me think.

So I began a list of what I hope and pray my sons find in a wife.
-Does she love him unconditionally
-Is she forgiving
-Is she soft spoken or harsh with her criticism
-Does she pray for him
-Will she see past his flaws
-Is she willing to compromise her desires to meet his needs
-Does she speak kindness only to others about the man she loves
-Is she concerned about looking beautiful for him
-Does she want to create a sanctuary at home for him

I realize that the boys (aka young men) in our lives have a pretty heavy load to carry as well. But I'm looking at it from the woman's perspective at this point.

What kind of expectations do/will you place on this other woman?

Can you live up to the same expectations? Can I? Have I?

The Lord challenged my on this one. As I began making this check list in my head over what I thought would be good enough for my son I realized my husband has a mom and is looking at me in the same way? Can she look at me and know that I love her son as much as I possibly can and I'm willing to die to self (as often as I can) for him.

This is a pretty big challenge. But, I 'll tell you. It surely has pushed me to think a little deeper and see my husband in a new light. To his benefit I might add.

So if you are a mom of sons I challenge you to think about just what kind of a woman are you to the man in your life? Are you what you hope your son's will marry or are you the opposite of what you expect? Perhaps this will allow a little more grace in your life for the woman your boy marries.

What are some of the things you think you will expect?

Here is a great book resource.
Here

Marriage: Because it Matters When Raising Kids

I am a divorcee. Remarried.

My boys experienced a broken home. My daughter has not Thank you Lord.

So I had this bright idea to write about marriage about 2 weeks ago and then I got busy. So I only had the first two sentences in. Weird. Weird because in that time frame my oldest got engaged. Nope- I had no clue. I found out after he asked. Not that I mind. I have learned to dumb down my expectations with him. So I am just grateful he chose to share it with me at all.

We love our future daughter in law. They had been high school sweethearts and broke up for a year. They have recently come back together. Two completely different people yet they still get along in an amazing way.

It is the right thing for them.

So, now back to my thoughts on marriage. Not only did my son get engaged but there have been so many blogs and radio programs supporting this idea of marriage between one man and one woman lately. The kind of marriage designed by God. I'd like to share a few of those links with you. God speaks to us in many forms. Perhaps someone out there might need to hear what is said. I will post them at the end of my post here.

I know when I was struggling in my marriage of 8 yrs. with a man who didn't love me or wasn't capable of loving me and I was entirely too needy to know any better. The only thing I heard was the world SHOUTING you DESERVE to be happy. You DESERVE to have a man who loves you and who treats you right. What is love? What is "treating you right"?

Let me just say.

No one can create your happiness. No one OWES you anything. Not one person can make you happy. And

NO, we don't deserve anything. Except what God blesses us with.

I've learned that marriage wasn't instituted for our happiness (gosh I wish I had know this LONG ago). Marriage was designed to show the world what the relationship with Jesus Christ is like. This was such an eye opening view. I had no idea. It's not what I grew up with. It's not what I had been taught at all. But PRAISE God, it makes so much sense.

How you love each other shows your children how Jesus loves them and how they are to love Jesus. It shows your spouse how Christ loves him/her. There is no other relationship in this world like it which is why it's one of the most important ones and why Satan works over time trying to destroy.

Let me say this- I'm not talking about marriages plagued with abuse (been there done that too). I'm talking about the troubles of "falling out of love with your mate issues here." Perhaps he isn't as clean as you'd like him to be, or he doesn't pick up his clothes, or he doesn't fix things in a timely manner. Does he work too much or not enough? ALL of these have the ability to be brushed away by the grace of God. I'm not saying God can't change an abusive man. Because I know my God can and will if that man accepts His help or if God just plainly wants to use him. But you should never stay in harms way or allow you children to stay in harms way. Remove yourself and work on it in a controlled environment that is safe for you and your kids.

So as a woman who has been through divorce let my voice be louder than the world. Find a way to love your spouse. Find a way to see past the flaws. Find a way to be used by the grace of God so that Jesus can be glorified through you and eventually through your marriage.


It truly is worth fighting for and it will mean all the difference in the world to your children.


I am currently remarried now for 9.5 years. Thank you Jesus. I have a wonderful man. He is not perfect and I had to give a lot of my habits of control so that he could lead us as a man should. It wasn't easy. Especially when I was turning over two boys to him who weren't his flesh and blood. Everything in me wanted to cling and protect and not allow him into their lives for their sake. But God showed me how I had to step aside so one of the most amazing things could happen to them in their relationship with their new dad. God gave me the grace to do it. He gave me the strength and power and might to put my mama bear reactions away and just allow it to write out an amazing story in their lives.


Boy, I'm sure glad I did. Because in 2004 is when the plan came full circle and the boys asked my husband to adopt them. They wanted his name and for him to be their official dad. That was a beautiful day. That will be a day forever etched in my memory as a day God showed up and said "man will let you down but I am your God. I know what you need. Let me provide for you." He did. above and beyond what I could have ever asked for.


Let go and Let God do His work in you. Then watch the others around you begin to change. It's a beautiful thing.

Marriage is a beautiful thing.


and it matters!


Here are the links I promised....


Family Life

Focus on the Family

God's Sacred Design for Marriage audio (Part 1 of 2)
God's Sacred Design for Marriage audio (Part 2 of 2)

First Flights Out of the Nest

    So I'm living a few different levels of parenting. I'm sure there are others out there in at least ONE of the same situations that I find myself in. This is actually pertaining to my oldest DS. He is 19 and has already flown the coupe once. He actually turned 19 in Hawaii. Rough life huh? To ask him you would think so. He joined the CG and was found sleepwalking a month into his first duty station so they began the process of releasing him. You can't sleep walk on a boat. You can't sleepwalk with a bunch of weapons. So they let you go. It was a devastating blow to a 19 yr old who thought he was on the path to his future. He loved boot camp and thrived in it actually. His first duty station was not quite as great. It was a lot of stuff.. bad hours, so far from home for the first time ever, no friends (like he had at home), a lot of drinking and smoking going on. He wasn't really into the whole drinking scene but apparently that's all they like to do. So he baby sat a lot making sure everyone got to back to the ship safely and on time. There was a lot of stress and anxiety wrapped around this first flight out of the house. He didn't do so well. It was an extreme jump this first time out. I'm afraid we didn't prepare him well enough for such a feat. But he sort of blind sided us with the news he was enlisting. College didn't look like a viable option apparently. Even though he was enrolled already.

    Well, he is back home now trying to gather his barrings. It's been a difficult road. The blow, the age, the lack of direction are all coming into play here. Oh and the girl friend who has decided to end things. He is really struggling to find a path. We, the parents, are trying to encourage and validate him as much as we can with lots of patience. As long as he pays his few bills then I have no recourse. Nothing illegal or dangerous is going on in his life. He truly is a great kid young man. Even though I get intensely frustrated with him. He is still a good guy. He has a lot of potential. I wish he saw it in himself. I wish he drew strength from everything positive in himself.  But, he doesn't. His ego is shot and he lacks oodles of self confidence. He lacks self discipline too.

   With each new adventure in his life and each new test flight out we are hoping to see positive changes and impacts in his life. As parents this is NOT an easy task. To stay patient and graceful and have mercy on them while they flutter about out of the next. How does a parent do it?

•     Well first and foremost PRAYER. Lots and lots of prayer. I even yell at God about how disappointed I am or frustrated or angry at my son for being lazy or careless or even disrespectful. God is big enough to handle it. I hear Him repeating back to me the love and grace and mercy He has had on ALL His children. While we have been rebellious, lazy, careless, and disrespectful to Him and His people. So He understands. He can relate to our frustrations. He can understand why we want to scream and yell.
• Then there are friends who can help carry the burden with you. They can pray with you. They can share their frustrations so you know you aren't allow. They may be completely different but, we ALL are burdened with something.
• Resources like books, and video's, sermons can all help with this season of life. A couple of my essential resources that I have been clinging too are The Power of Praying for Your Adult Children by Stormie Omartian and Losing Control and Liking It By Tim Sanford Both will forever be my guide as the other children come along. See the covers below.
 

You can/ WE can do this. Parenting isn't easy nor is it for sissy's. We must stand with the Lord and fight every day for our children. He will give us daily our portion of what we need as parents. Looking to far into the future will cause us to fall or be weak because it's too much. But, focus daily what you need. He will be your strength and power and might.

I'd LOVE to hear about some of your own experiences of the first flights out of the nest.