First Flights Out of the Nest

    So I'm living a few different levels of parenting. I'm sure there are others out there in at least ONE of the same situations that I find myself in. This is actually pertaining to my oldest DS. He is 19 and has already flown the coupe once. He actually turned 19 in Hawaii. Rough life huh? To ask him you would think so. He joined the CG and was found sleepwalking a month into his first duty station so they began the process of releasing him. You can't sleep walk on a boat. You can't sleepwalk with a bunch of weapons. So they let you go. It was a devastating blow to a 19 yr old who thought he was on the path to his future. He loved boot camp and thrived in it actually. His first duty station was not quite as great. It was a lot of stuff.. bad hours, so far from home for the first time ever, no friends (like he had at home), a lot of drinking and smoking going on. He wasn't really into the whole drinking scene but apparently that's all they like to do. So he baby sat a lot making sure everyone got to back to the ship safely and on time. There was a lot of stress and anxiety wrapped around this first flight out of the house. He didn't do so well. It was an extreme jump this first time out. I'm afraid we didn't prepare him well enough for such a feat. But he sort of blind sided us with the news he was enlisting. College didn't look like a viable option apparently. Even though he was enrolled already.

    Well, he is back home now trying to gather his barrings. It's been a difficult road. The blow, the age, the lack of direction are all coming into play here. Oh and the girl friend who has decided to end things. He is really struggling to find a path. We, the parents, are trying to encourage and validate him as much as we can with lots of patience. As long as he pays his few bills then I have no recourse. Nothing illegal or dangerous is going on in his life. He truly is a great kid young man. Even though I get intensely frustrated with him. He is still a good guy. He has a lot of potential. I wish he saw it in himself. I wish he drew strength from everything positive in himself.  But, he doesn't. His ego is shot and he lacks oodles of self confidence. He lacks self discipline too.

   With each new adventure in his life and each new test flight out we are hoping to see positive changes and impacts in his life. As parents this is NOT an easy task. To stay patient and graceful and have mercy on them while they flutter about out of the next. How does a parent do it?

•     Well first and foremost PRAYER. Lots and lots of prayer. I even yell at God about how disappointed I am or frustrated or angry at my son for being lazy or careless or even disrespectful. God is big enough to handle it. I hear Him repeating back to me the love and grace and mercy He has had on ALL His children. While we have been rebellious, lazy, careless, and disrespectful to Him and His people. So He understands. He can relate to our frustrations. He can understand why we want to scream and yell.
• Then there are friends who can help carry the burden with you. They can pray with you. They can share their frustrations so you know you aren't allow. They may be completely different but, we ALL are burdened with something.
• Resources like books, and video's, sermons can all help with this season of life. A couple of my essential resources that I have been clinging too are The Power of Praying for Your Adult Children by Stormie Omartian and Losing Control and Liking It By Tim Sanford Both will forever be my guide as the other children come along. See the covers below.
 

You can/ WE can do this. Parenting isn't easy nor is it for sissy's. We must stand with the Lord and fight every day for our children. He will give us daily our portion of what we need as parents. Looking to far into the future will cause us to fall or be weak because it's too much. But, focus daily what you need. He will be your strength and power and might.

I'd LOVE to hear about some of your own experiences of the first flights out of the nest.