God's Masterpiece

What message are you giving to your children? Are you telling them they are worth while to spend time with? Are you giving them a valuable spot in the family where without their contribution things just might fall apart?

We all need to feel needed. Do your children feel needed?

I can say I haven't always done this. In fact I feel like I fall so short of this. But it wasn't because I didn't want them to be. I think we all desperately want our children to feel worthy, needed, and precious. For whatever reason life happens and we have let a lot of time go by before we realize we haven't sat and had a simple connection conversation with our child(ren).

It's sometimes easier for the mom of the family to keep her watch over the relationships in her household. So I tend to call myself the temperature gauge to the family. When I sense a need in one of the children I tend to analyze and evaluate what it is they possibly need the most. Time with dad, mom, or family as a whole. As they get older it gets harder and harder to know what your child needs. My DS1, 19, is virtually impossible to connect with right now. He sleeps a lot and is going through somewhat of a crisis. So, all my conversations tend to lean towards the more serious.. what are you going to do with your life conversations. No wonder he steers clear of talking with me. But, I just don't know how to relax until things are taken care of.

Here are a few things I have found to be helpful each very different for each child.

• DS1 likes to eat. So I try to find every possible opportunity to have a good meal cooked or take him to eat somewhere. I restrain from any "serious" talk for the whole meal and just try and let him talk. Which is honestly a bit harder than it seems because at this age they really don't have much substance to their conversations. Still it seems to be a small moment of joy without tension for both of us. Going to the movies with DS1 is also a winner. He is a movie buff and it's an action we can do together and then just talk together about the movie.Connection is the key her. No life problems are to be dealt with during these times of connecting.
• DS2 and I have set aside every Friday lunch as "our" time. We find a place to eat and we have lunch together. It's a time I try to protect as much as possible. Not letting anything interfere with that time frame. It gives us a chance to discuss his work for the week since I home school him. We can take tests or discuss a chapter of whatever subject he might have a question about. Again, with boys, FOOD seems to be a common factor. Boys can't just sit and talk either. It's completely against their whole genetic makeup. So throwing a ball, working out, or driving are all good options for conversation with your son. The important thing is taking time with them.
• DD1 is most fun for me because me being a woman we connect a little differently. We understand each other in ways that the boys and I don't. Doesn't make it better or worst just different. I actually am not a good "player". Which means I don't know how to sit and play with toys. Tea Party's are kind of painful for me and playing dress-up just leaves me feeling like a failure because I'm not good at it. Maybe that's why I avoid it. I can color and things but I find it difficult for my daughter to enjoy creative work because she is a perfectionist and criticizes her work the whole time. So I have found a resource that I would like to share with you that sets you and your daughter on intentional dates together. It's a book called "8 Great Dates for Moms and Daughters" It leads conversations in True beauty, cool fashion, and modesty. DD1 is a joy to go out with. However it can sometimes be the most challenging. She can tend to be a bit negative at times. We are working on an attitude of gratitude with her. It's ok to be disappointed but, always be grateful for things even if they aren't exactly what we hoped for. So with your daughter you can shop, eat, beautify yourselves, or just go to a park and sit under a big tree in the shade and talk.

It doesn't much matter what the activity is. It's does matter the amount, frequency, and effort that is put into it. Kids need to know they matter. They need to know they are God's Masterpiece. They need to know from you that you think they are worth your time and effort. I promise you no one else out in the world will be able to speak that truth into their lives like you can. If you are intentional in connecting with them and not "fake" it. They will know, no matter what you do, that you care about them if you spend time with them.

Breath life into your child.. show them they ARE God's Masterpiece in the making.
Read this story The Story of the Tea Cup to get a greater picture of being God's Masterpiece and all that we must go through to become all that God intended for us.

God's Perfect Timing

Hello blogger world!

This one is so very near and dear to my heart because of how true it is in my life. God's perfect timing in everything that has had me concerned. But, it wasn't until I began to pay attention that I was able to see God's hand at work in my life and in the lives of those around me. Paying attention is key here. Because you will miss it. God doesn't send out a flair when he's about to perform a miracle in your midst. Kinda like when you enter your child's room and clean it for them while they aren't home, or when you wash their clothes and place them in their drawers so they don't have to wonder where their favorite pair of jeans are. (No, I actually never did this.) I do their laundry but, I don't place them nicely in their drawers or pay attention to what their favorite clothes are.. But, you might. That's like God.. when He is working in our lives even when we aren't paying attention. We don't send out a signal to let our kids letting them know when we will clean their clothes, dishes, or the house they live in.. We just do it. Because we know it's healthy, safe, and more pleasing. What a thankless job it is. But because we know better we do it.

One amazing story of this that my DS2 (dear son #2) and I were just talking about the other day.Was  when he was in 6th grade. I was at work and he was at school. I can't remember the events of the day but I had the afternoon off from work and thought it would be a fun surprise to stop by the middle school and pick him up for the day. Mother son time. When I drove up it just happen to be a time when classes were changing and I ran into ds2 right outside. (Here is the miracle of the moment) I saw a boy hand him something. Right there right at that very moment I was able to see an exchange to my ds2 that could have altered a future for him. DS2 had this look on his face that screamed guilty. But still wasn't sure what was going on just yet. I asked him if he wanted to check out to hang for the day but his response wasn't what I expected , this child hated school, so for him not to jump on the chance quickly took me back. Then it clicked. In a matter of seconds a million thoughts went through my head, a boy just handed him something, he is acting weird, what should I do, could it be..., what situation did God just place me in? I asked my son for the "thing" in his pocket. Fearing someone would see before I had a chance to get the full story. I stuck it in my purse told him to go to class and I would be checking him out. This also gave me a moment to gather my thoughts. Absorb the miracle that just happened. Plus figure out how I am supposed to deal with this situation so that ds2 has a moment to learn and see just how much God is constantly holding him in his hands every day, all day.

Well, the pill turned out to be nothing. But the boy was telling him it was steroids and would make him stronger. I took ds2 to lunch that day and we discussed how God had placed me there at that particular moment during that particular day and neither of us were even aware we were being guided at that moment by the Creator. We prayed and I told him what he was about to do was a very dangerous thing. Not only for him but, for the boy who gave it to him. We must always be on guard to the world around us. It served as one of the most impactful lessons ds2 could have ever had on his own. It was the most impactful moment a parent could have had. I knew at that very moment I was never going to be alone in my days of parenting or that my husband and I would never be left to try and look after them 24/7 alone. We could trust the God of this universe to help us. We just had to be awake. We have to be aware. We have to be looking for the signs. We must not fall asleep or we will miss it. We will miss the miracles of the hand of God in our lives. Not that He will stop working.. but, we will miss seeing it.

Nothing will build your faith or your love for the Lord more than seeing Him at work in your life or your child's life. Helping you to Grow Graceful Thru Parenting.

Graceful

So, what exactly does GRACEFUL really mean? And how does it exactly fit into parenting?

Graceful:
agile, charming, lovely

graceful  means characterized by beauty of movement, style, or form; gracious  means characterized by charm, good taste, kindness, and generosity of spirit


So, agile means to move quickly and easily. This makes me laugh because how true it is when you have children that you have to move quickly and easily. Right from birth into adulthood. Think of 5th grade project due tomorrow and it's 8:30 pm the night before or a child who escapes your grasp to run into a street. How about a child who has found them self in a bad situation with friends and needs to be picked up at 10 or 11 at night or that baby trying to take their first steps as you move quickly to soften their fall.

Next is Charming which means pleasant or attractive. Well this certainly can come into play during parenting. More on the pleasant side of things. To be friendly, likable, and polite. All the qualities we desire our children to grow up with. Traits we could model for our children. Think of all the parents of your child's friends. Think about not embarrassing your child in a store because they want to turn in a game for money to get a different game and the man behind the counter is a sham and you want to let him know it as clearly as possibly. (yes, I did this and it wasn't very charming. One of the highlights my boys remember of me).

Then there is lovable. Well, that's almost explainable.But there will be times in parenting when they aren't lovable nor are you lovable. Might be the the most self explainatory but, probably one of the toughest ones to get through when you don't FEEL like it. Try being lovable when you've been up all night caring for a crying baby, or when you have been wondering where your child is for 24 hours or more. Try loving them when they walk through the door with an attitude like "what is your problem." It's easy in the beginning with that sweet newborn baby. Or even that toddler. Their behavior can be "explained away" by just not knowing better. There is even more "grace" for you because your a sleep deprived mom. But come on- after 6 mths it's time to pull those big girl panties up and start acting lovable to the husband even though your body feels like it's been through a meat grinder or you are worn out trying to entertain all day long with no one pouring into your soul. Oh yes, life is hard and it will bring you to your knees many times. The Lord is faithful in showing you just how to love yourself enough to love others who need you.

The older our children get, hopefully, the better we become through all three of these traits. Growing Graceful Thru Parenting will hopefully be a journey you and I can go on together. One where we can learn from each other, pray for each other, and grow Graceful with each other.

I would love to hear your stories if you would be so kind as to share them with me.