The Curse

I have a curse.

It's the curse of independence. 

Let me explain. I grew up in a home where the man of the house abused his authority over his family. He was not nice to my mom. He didn't protect her, encourage her, love her, or even lift her up to the Lord. It was not a biblical picture of 'head of the house' and therefore I grew up with a distorted view.

Watching my mom cower and take the verbal abuse pushed me to the other extreme of "I do not need a man to make it in this world." my attitude reflected an independence that was severely distorted.

A couple marriages later.... and

Today, the Lord has gently walked me back to His truth. He has gently shown me that, in Him and through Him, His way is good. 

His way is best.

He has blessed me.

I'm thankful my husband is a man who can be trusted. He allows me to depend on him without abusing that authority. 

I probably would have never known what God meant if it had not been for him.

My curse likes to rear it's ugly head sometimes though. My natural instinct tends to be "I don't need his approval." 

The more I sink myself into God's word He loving always guides me in His truth. He shows me the error of my ways. It can get kinda ugly inside though. 

I make it back into the truth and the shelter of God's ways and I begin to see a blessing through obedience. 

My mom likes to jokingly remind me just how independent I was. 

She doesn't know she is scraping the surface of a wound. A curse on me. 

You might be or might not be with me in the fact that I CRINGE at the word obey or obedience. It was such an ugly, degrading word for so many years. "But, Lord I SWORE I would never let a man ever talk to me or treat me like that again." 

It was important for me to be as independent as I possibly could. 

I was thinking about this the other day when my daughter began to challenge her daddy's instruction. How important is it for me to model respect and obedience to her daddy. So she will one day know how to lovingly trust and obey her husband. How important it is for him to show love with stern direction. He must be trustworthy.

Not to mention how important it is for my boys to grow up knowing the incredible responsibility laid upon them by God himself. They need to know that their wife and children will depend on their direction and wisdom in the Lord. It will be their responsibility to provide for them. To train them in the ways of the Lord and to encourage them to be all God has created them to be. This is such a great responsibility that I hope they never take for granted. 

This 'attitude' hasn't been all bad. It has allowed me to reach for things I might have otherwise shrunk from. But it is ultimately important for me to default to my husband. He is the head. I am his helper. PERIOD. There is actually GREAT fulfillment in this role. It's incredibly important in the balance of the family. 

So once again. I am growing graceful thru parenting. Becoming more Christ like through the lives of my children and family. 

Came across this video trailer of Ann Voscamp's book "One Thousand Gifts"

It touched my heart so deeply as it expressed parenting and the grace we are given in the moments of each day.

Being a working mom I've missed a lot of these moments with my daughter. But this short video inspires me to do a better job.

Wishing you experience God's grace in parenting today.

True Feminine Beauty

Had to stop in for a minute and share this link to an article I just read.

True Feminine Beauty
By Leslie Ludy


Because pretty much all of us have struggled with it at one time or another in our life time. If we can help the next generation a little more than we were helped then it will be a success.

Blessings to you all- moms, daughters, sisters, wives. May you see now your own TRUE BEAUTY.

Why Obeying Your Husband Matters

“As the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in EVERYTHING—Ephesians 5:24.” (emphasis mine)

So the family I grew up with did not depict what Christ meant in this verse or verses of this chapter in Ephesians. So, growing up and hearing this verse I thought SURELY Christ doesn't mean that for every wife. Most surely He didn't mean EVERYTHING. 

2 failed marriages 3rd being God's grace poured out on me and 3 children later I get it. What a rough hard road to wander down to finally get this. I wish someone had explained it so clearly to me as I see today. Maybe they did and I didn't have the eyes to see or the ears to hear. One simple truth could have saved me a lot of trouble: God said I'm gonna have to obey my husband in EVERYTHING, Hence the reason to choose your husband wisely. WOW, now that's a revelation. 

In my clouded view of childhood of a domineering father with little compassion for his children or his wife. I couldn't see this perfect picture Christ had drawn for the church. If a man loves his wife as Christ loves the church and if the Wife obeys her husband as the church submits to Christ then their will be harmony. Not perfection, yet, here on earth but a much clearer picture to the world what our relationship with Christ is like and will be like in heaven. 

If you are one of those women who struggles with submission and obeying your husband begin to ask God how He can help you to know this truth. Spend daily time in prayer asking God to reveal ways you can submit to your husband. If you are like me your every fiber of being will fight you because of the attitude that screams "no man will ever take advantage of me again". I can take care of myself. Which in turn breeds an attitude of what good are you to me anyways? Truth is God has placed a high calling on men to be the men in the women's lives. To lead, direct and cherish her. God has placed it on man as his responsibility. But, you know what has happened? Women have stomped their feet demanding equal rights and equal treatment. Women through their temper tantrums have sought after the leadership that was by God's design to be mans. Look what has happened. Our children come home to empty houses. We have malnourished kids. More kids on educational medication. Women exhausted and too tried to spend time with their children so they buy extra TV's so everyone can watch something different just so we don't have to entertain them. Husbands being lazy, passive, by standards as the charge of women come racing in to snatch their responsibility right out of their hands which breeds disrespect for the men leaving them feeling worthless to the world and might I say into the hands of internet pornography and a place they feel maybe they can be dominant. Maybe where they can at least pretend they are wanted and needed. Because their wives are too tired and lack so much respect the sex drive just isn't there any more. The drive for intimacy with someone you have little respect for isn't appealing and so the cycle continues. I supposed I could go on with different scenarios. But, I think you get the point. I realize some cycles are way out of control. But our God is a big God and if you want real change in your marriage or even in your husband try submitting. Allowing him to take the heat from God what is rightfully his when he doesn't step up and lead his family. Step aside. 

Be a wife and allow God to work in your husband the way he intended. The impact on your children by living out the scriptures is more impacting than any bible study or words could ever be. Model God's way and receive the blessing.

But mostly teach your boys to be good leaders and to love as Christ loves.  Teach your daughters the importance of looking for God's best in a husband because she is commanded to obey him and she wants to be sure she can live that out in a way that is glorifying to our Lord.

Check out this movie coming out soon

COURAGEOUS

Honor Begins at Home

Four men, one calling: To serve and protect. As law enforcement officers, Adam Mitchell, Nathan Hayes, David Thomson, and Shane Fuller are confident and focused. Yet at the end of the day, they face a challenge that none of them are truly prepared to tackle: fatherhood.
While they consistently give their best on the job, good enough seems to be all they can muster as dads. But they're quickly discovering that their standard is missing the mark.
When tragedy hits home, these men are left wrestling with their hopes, their fears, their faith, and their fathering. Can a new found urgency help these dads draw closer to God ... and to their children?
Filled with action-packed police drama, COURAGEOUS is the fourth film from Sherwood Pictures, the movie making ministry of Sherwood Baptist Church in Albany, Georgia. Riveted moviegoers will once again find themselves laughing, crying, and cheering as they are challenged and inspired by everyday heroes who long to be the kinds of dads that make a lifelong impact on their children.
Protecting the streets is second nature to these men. Raising their children in a God-honoring way? That's courageous.

In Theaters September 30

God's Masterpiece

What message are you giving to your children? Are you telling them they are worth while to spend time with? Are you giving them a valuable spot in the family where without their contribution things just might fall apart?

We all need to feel needed. Do your children feel needed?

I can say I haven't always done this. In fact I feel like I fall so short of this. But it wasn't because I didn't want them to be. I think we all desperately want our children to feel worthy, needed, and precious. For whatever reason life happens and we have let a lot of time go by before we realize we haven't sat and had a simple connection conversation with our child(ren).

It's sometimes easier for the mom of the family to keep her watch over the relationships in her household. So I tend to call myself the temperature gauge to the family. When I sense a need in one of the children I tend to analyze and evaluate what it is they possibly need the most. Time with dad, mom, or family as a whole. As they get older it gets harder and harder to know what your child needs. My DS1, 19, is virtually impossible to connect with right now. He sleeps a lot and is going through somewhat of a crisis. So, all my conversations tend to lean towards the more serious.. what are you going to do with your life conversations. No wonder he steers clear of talking with me. But, I just don't know how to relax until things are taken care of.

Here are a few things I have found to be helpful each very different for each child.

• DS1 likes to eat. So I try to find every possible opportunity to have a good meal cooked or take him to eat somewhere. I restrain from any "serious" talk for the whole meal and just try and let him talk. Which is honestly a bit harder than it seems because at this age they really don't have much substance to their conversations. Still it seems to be a small moment of joy without tension for both of us. Going to the movies with DS1 is also a winner. He is a movie buff and it's an action we can do together and then just talk together about the movie.Connection is the key her. No life problems are to be dealt with during these times of connecting.
• DS2 and I have set aside every Friday lunch as "our" time. We find a place to eat and we have lunch together. It's a time I try to protect as much as possible. Not letting anything interfere with that time frame. It gives us a chance to discuss his work for the week since I home school him. We can take tests or discuss a chapter of whatever subject he might have a question about. Again, with boys, FOOD seems to be a common factor. Boys can't just sit and talk either. It's completely against their whole genetic makeup. So throwing a ball, working out, or driving are all good options for conversation with your son. The important thing is taking time with them.
• DD1 is most fun for me because me being a woman we connect a little differently. We understand each other in ways that the boys and I don't. Doesn't make it better or worst just different. I actually am not a good "player". Which means I don't know how to sit and play with toys. Tea Party's are kind of painful for me and playing dress-up just leaves me feeling like a failure because I'm not good at it. Maybe that's why I avoid it. I can color and things but I find it difficult for my daughter to enjoy creative work because she is a perfectionist and criticizes her work the whole time. So I have found a resource that I would like to share with you that sets you and your daughter on intentional dates together. It's a book called "8 Great Dates for Moms and Daughters" It leads conversations in True beauty, cool fashion, and modesty. DD1 is a joy to go out with. However it can sometimes be the most challenging. She can tend to be a bit negative at times. We are working on an attitude of gratitude with her. It's ok to be disappointed but, always be grateful for things even if they aren't exactly what we hoped for. So with your daughter you can shop, eat, beautify yourselves, or just go to a park and sit under a big tree in the shade and talk.

It doesn't much matter what the activity is. It's does matter the amount, frequency, and effort that is put into it. Kids need to know they matter. They need to know they are God's Masterpiece. They need to know from you that you think they are worth your time and effort. I promise you no one else out in the world will be able to speak that truth into their lives like you can. If you are intentional in connecting with them and not "fake" it. They will know, no matter what you do, that you care about them if you spend time with them.

Breath life into your child.. show them they ARE God's Masterpiece in the making.
Read this story The Story of the Tea Cup to get a greater picture of being God's Masterpiece and all that we must go through to become all that God intended for us.