The Curse

I have a curse.

It's the curse of independence. 

Let me explain. I grew up in a home where the man of the house abused his authority over his family. He was not nice to my mom. He didn't protect her, encourage her, love her, or even lift her up to the Lord. It was not a biblical picture of 'head of the house' and therefore I grew up with a distorted view.

Watching my mom cower and take the verbal abuse pushed me to the other extreme of "I do not need a man to make it in this world." my attitude reflected an independence that was severely distorted.

A couple marriages later.... and

Today, the Lord has gently walked me back to His truth. He has gently shown me that, in Him and through Him, His way is good. 

His way is best.

He has blessed me.

I'm thankful my husband is a man who can be trusted. He allows me to depend on him without abusing that authority. 

I probably would have never known what God meant if it had not been for him.

My curse likes to rear it's ugly head sometimes though. My natural instinct tends to be "I don't need his approval." 

The more I sink myself into God's word He loving always guides me in His truth. He shows me the error of my ways. It can get kinda ugly inside though. 

I make it back into the truth and the shelter of God's ways and I begin to see a blessing through obedience. 

My mom likes to jokingly remind me just how independent I was. 

She doesn't know she is scraping the surface of a wound. A curse on me. 

You might be or might not be with me in the fact that I CRINGE at the word obey or obedience. It was such an ugly, degrading word for so many years. "But, Lord I SWORE I would never let a man ever talk to me or treat me like that again." 

It was important for me to be as independent as I possibly could. 

I was thinking about this the other day when my daughter began to challenge her daddy's instruction. How important is it for me to model respect and obedience to her daddy. So she will one day know how to lovingly trust and obey her husband. How important it is for him to show love with stern direction. He must be trustworthy.

Not to mention how important it is for my boys to grow up knowing the incredible responsibility laid upon them by God himself. They need to know that their wife and children will depend on their direction and wisdom in the Lord. It will be their responsibility to provide for them. To train them in the ways of the Lord and to encourage them to be all God has created them to be. This is such a great responsibility that I hope they never take for granted. 

This 'attitude' hasn't been all bad. It has allowed me to reach for things I might have otherwise shrunk from. But it is ultimately important for me to default to my husband. He is the head. I am his helper. PERIOD. There is actually GREAT fulfillment in this role. It's incredibly important in the balance of the family. 

So once again. I am growing graceful thru parenting. Becoming more Christ like through the lives of my children and family. 

Why Obeying Your Husband Matters

“As the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in EVERYTHING—Ephesians 5:24.” (emphasis mine)

So the family I grew up with did not depict what Christ meant in this verse or verses of this chapter in Ephesians. So, growing up and hearing this verse I thought SURELY Christ doesn't mean that for every wife. Most surely He didn't mean EVERYTHING. 

2 failed marriages 3rd being God's grace poured out on me and 3 children later I get it. What a rough hard road to wander down to finally get this. I wish someone had explained it so clearly to me as I see today. Maybe they did and I didn't have the eyes to see or the ears to hear. One simple truth could have saved me a lot of trouble: God said I'm gonna have to obey my husband in EVERYTHING, Hence the reason to choose your husband wisely. WOW, now that's a revelation. 

In my clouded view of childhood of a domineering father with little compassion for his children or his wife. I couldn't see this perfect picture Christ had drawn for the church. If a man loves his wife as Christ loves the church and if the Wife obeys her husband as the church submits to Christ then their will be harmony. Not perfection, yet, here on earth but a much clearer picture to the world what our relationship with Christ is like and will be like in heaven. 

If you are one of those women who struggles with submission and obeying your husband begin to ask God how He can help you to know this truth. Spend daily time in prayer asking God to reveal ways you can submit to your husband. If you are like me your every fiber of being will fight you because of the attitude that screams "no man will ever take advantage of me again". I can take care of myself. Which in turn breeds an attitude of what good are you to me anyways? Truth is God has placed a high calling on men to be the men in the women's lives. To lead, direct and cherish her. God has placed it on man as his responsibility. But, you know what has happened? Women have stomped their feet demanding equal rights and equal treatment. Women through their temper tantrums have sought after the leadership that was by God's design to be mans. Look what has happened. Our children come home to empty houses. We have malnourished kids. More kids on educational medication. Women exhausted and too tried to spend time with their children so they buy extra TV's so everyone can watch something different just so we don't have to entertain them. Husbands being lazy, passive, by standards as the charge of women come racing in to snatch their responsibility right out of their hands which breeds disrespect for the men leaving them feeling worthless to the world and might I say into the hands of internet pornography and a place they feel maybe they can be dominant. Maybe where they can at least pretend they are wanted and needed. Because their wives are too tired and lack so much respect the sex drive just isn't there any more. The drive for intimacy with someone you have little respect for isn't appealing and so the cycle continues. I supposed I could go on with different scenarios. But, I think you get the point. I realize some cycles are way out of control. But our God is a big God and if you want real change in your marriage or even in your husband try submitting. Allowing him to take the heat from God what is rightfully his when he doesn't step up and lead his family. Step aside. 

Be a wife and allow God to work in your husband the way he intended. The impact on your children by living out the scriptures is more impacting than any bible study or words could ever be. Model God's way and receive the blessing.

But mostly teach your boys to be good leaders and to love as Christ loves.  Teach your daughters the importance of looking for God's best in a husband because she is commanded to obey him and she wants to be sure she can live that out in a way that is glorifying to our Lord.

Check out this movie coming out soon

COURAGEOUS

Honor Begins at Home

Four men, one calling: To serve and protect. As law enforcement officers, Adam Mitchell, Nathan Hayes, David Thomson, and Shane Fuller are confident and focused. Yet at the end of the day, they face a challenge that none of them are truly prepared to tackle: fatherhood.
While they consistently give their best on the job, good enough seems to be all they can muster as dads. But they're quickly discovering that their standard is missing the mark.
When tragedy hits home, these men are left wrestling with their hopes, their fears, their faith, and their fathering. Can a new found urgency help these dads draw closer to God ... and to their children?
Filled with action-packed police drama, COURAGEOUS is the fourth film from Sherwood Pictures, the movie making ministry of Sherwood Baptist Church in Albany, Georgia. Riveted moviegoers will once again find themselves laughing, crying, and cheering as they are challenged and inspired by everyday heroes who long to be the kinds of dads that make a lifelong impact on their children.
Protecting the streets is second nature to these men. Raising their children in a God-honoring way? That's courageous.

In Theaters September 30